PENNY'S BIRTH STORY

When I first discovered I was pregnant both my partner and I were ecstatic. We had only been trying to conceive for four months so we were very pleased that we had been successful so quickly.

After a successful scan at 12 weeks, we allowed ourselves to finally get excited and we also started to share the news with family and close friends. It was at this point that I was starting to think about where I would like to have our baby. I didn't discuss this with my partner at this stage as it was something I needed to mull over in my own mind first before saying anything.

I have a very serious fear of hospitals and in particular, needles, so one of my biggest fears about having a baby was the amount of injections and blood tests that may be needed.

At 16 weeks of pregnancy I received a visit from the Community Midwife, accompanied by a student midwife. I gelled very well with the student midwife but was not happy with the Community Midwife. I felt she was too serious and I didn't feel I was supposed to be excited about our forthcoming arrival. It was at this point that I thought I'd look into the possibility of seeking an independent midwife to take over my care, antenatally. I also wanted to look into home birth. I had told myself that as this was my first baby this would probably not be possible. Everyone I'd spoken to had told me the same thing. I thought I'd see what I could find on the internet anyway.

By this point I was 20 weeks pregnant and decided that until I'd discovered whether or not it was possible for me to have an independent midwife I would have my antenatal appointments with my GP rather than the Community Midwife. I emailed several independent midwives but had no response and I was 24 weeks pregnant before I decided to email Tamara Bonfante of Beautiful Beginnings Independent Midwifery Practice. Her practice was a little out of my area and didn't think I'd have any luck but she responded very promptly to my email and confirmed she was able to help. She provided me with all the information I needed (although nearly all of this is available on her website) and we agreed on a date for me and my partner to meet for a consultation.

I gelled immediately with Tamara as did my partner and we were so pleased that we'd managed to find an alternative to Community Midwifery care and a hospital birth. Tamara took over my care from 28 weeks and it was at this point that I started to experience discomfort in my groin. I mentioned this to Tamara and she confirmed that she thought I was suffering with SPD (Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction). I had never heard of this before but took on board her advice and hoped it would either go away or at least not get any worse.

I continued too see Tamara on a regular basis and whilst my pregnancy was progressing very well the discomfort of the SPD was getting worse. I was so thankful to have Tamara's support. I know that I would not have been so well supported by the care that would have been provided by the NHS so whilst it could be said it's expensive to have private care, knowing what I know now I would not have it any other way and should I decide to go through a further pregnancy in the future, I will seek private independent midwifery care from the earliest point possible.

Everybody I spoke to about my condition had either never heard of it or had such a lack of understanding, which I found very hard to deal with as I was in so discomfort and I felt that some people around me thought it was just me being a drama queen. Tamara confirmed that she herself suffered with SPD during her pregnancy but mildly in comparison with how I appeared to be suffering. Some people assumed I was just carrying a big baby and it was just pressure. Others thought it was me just not standing or walking properly, taking into account correct posture, etc. No-one seemed to understand apart from Tamara and my partner, who coped with me in tears, on my hands and knees begging to have the pain taken away.

By the time I'd reached approximately 33 weeks of pregnancy Tamara made an appointment for me to see a physiotherapist at the hospital. When the appointment came through, Tamara attended with me. The Physiotherapist was very helpful and I was given a body stocking and a support belt to be worn over the top of the body stocking at times when the stocking itself did not provide enough support.

I was also given crutches to use if I was to be walking anywhere outside of the house. These never got used as for the two weeks leading up to my c-section I wasn't really able to walk at all.

Although I felt better for wearing the body stocking and support belt, by the end of November (approximately 36 weeks) I was in so much pain I couldn't take it anymore and Tamara suggested that she no longer felt a home birth would be appropriate. I was upset but knew she was right. She kindly contacted the hospital for me to get an appointment with a Consultant to discuss the matter further. I talked to several specialists at this appointment and it was confirmed that there was a risk that if I went into labour naturally I would not be able to give birth as with severe SPD you cannot open your legs. There was also a risk that if I went for the natural birth but had an epidural, there could be a risk of permanent nerve damage (due to your legs being put in all positions and the pushing. Without actually feeling any of this happening it would not be possible to determine whether this was hurting me or not, therefore possibly causing damage). After a great deal of discussion it was decided that I would be booked in for a c-section on the 13th December, at 37 and a half weeks.

I was so relieved but nervous as it meant facing my biggest fear of all - being admitted to hospital and voluntarily having an operation. Strangely though, I was excited but thought, as with previous experiences of going into hospital, I'd be fine until the actual day, then things would take a turn!

My story is almost over, only to say that I had a fantastic experience in hospital, despite my fears and that my little baby boy was welcomed into the world with so much love from my partner and I as well as our family and friends. I remained in hospital for 3 days then came home to the help of my Mum who had come over from Ireland a week before to help me prior to my little boy’s arrival and afterwards for the first 4 weeks of his life. We also had him for Christmas and New Year which we did not anticipate as he wasn't due until 29th Dec and as first baby's are nearly always late, we considered ourselves well and truly blessed.

Well, this pretty much tells my story. Having my little boy is completely worth all the problems I have encountered - the love I feel for him is something I cannot describe and never thought I could ever experience. It's a feeling I am so glad I feel - I had the baby blues on the fifth day after he was born and I've had a couple of low times since then but the good times have always far outweighed the bad and I can honestly say that whilst my life has completely changed and has been turned upside-down, I wouldn't change it for the world. My experience was only made better by having the care of Tamara. I would recommend her to anyone. She was always a pleasure to talk, always took the time to fit me in when I felt I was bugging her on the phone with yet more problems I needed advice on. The one-to-one care gave me such reassurance, something I don't think I would have felt if I'd had my care with the Community Midwife or in fact my GP, despite how friendly and helpful he was and continues to be now. I will definitely be in touch with Tamara should I decide to have another baby in the future. In the meantime I consider myself truly blessed - the luckiest Mum ever! Thank you so much Tamara!